Synopsis- A church drama group is conducting their dress rehearsal for a play to be performed for the congregation. The play the group is performing is based on the story of Abraham and Sarah, and the birth of Isaac. However, in this dress rehearsal the group encounters various problems. Some of the actors dislike the play they are rehearsing because it is poorly written. Some of them do not like the roles assigned to them, and others have trouble getting along with each other in rehearsal. Finally, things get out of control and the director has to settle the group down so they can finish the rehearsal.

Director-

Abraham-

Sarah-

Cow-

Angel-

Messenger-

Tech 1- stage crew

Tracy- Assistant Director

Tech 2- non-speaking (optional part)

Props:

A miniature house/cabin setup on the stage, with a table and chairs, a loveseat, and possibly a wooden background painted to look like a kitchen and living room. The house looks like a fairly modern, yet simple house.

Costumes should be more biblical. Traditional nativity costumes can be used for Abraham, Sarah, and the Messenger. The cow has a cow costume, and the angel an angel costume accordingly. The Director and Tracy have fairly nice looking clothes, while Techs 1 & 2 wear blue jeans and T-shirts.

A baby doll to be used for baby Isaac

A string of white Christmas lights for the Tech crew to set up around the stage during the rehearsal. Tech crew may wear tool belts as well. Also, at times during the rehearsal, a tech crew member can appear to be touch up painting the backdrop.

A gallon of milk

Scene 1- Director sets the stage

Dir- Okay, let’s get this show on the road. Uh, hello, I’m glad all of you could make it. Today is very important because it is the final dress rehearsal before the big show. Just a reminder, the show starts Sunday at 4:00, so be here at 2 so we can iron out any wrinkles in the performance. (Some groans from the cast) Yeah, I know, we’ve rehearsed too much already I know but the pastor feels it is imperative that this play is successful so we can hopefully reach people with the message of the story of Abraham and Sarah. Before we start are there any questions?

Tracy- (from offstage) What’s "imperative" mean?

Dir- Oh, hi Tracy, everyone this is Tracy, she’s gonna be the assistant director and help me out. Please give her the same respect you would give me.

Cow- (to stage hand) I feel sorry for her!

Dir- Okay okay settle down. If there are no more questions then let’s get set up for the first scene. I see that Abraham and Sarah are already dressed for their part, so let’s...

Cow- Steve? Do I really have to put that stupid outfit on?

Dir- Yes Travis you do. We paid good money for it and this IS the dress rehearsal.

Cow- Alright (exit Cow)

Dir- Okay so let’s start this thing. Our narrator couldn’t make it in today so i’ll read his part. So here we go. (Reading) Here’s a story of a faithful man and his family. Our story takes place thousands of years ago near what is now Israel. Years before, Abraham had been told by God to leave his homeland, so Abraham settled in the town of Hebron. When Abraham was 75 years old, God promised Abraham that his wife Sarah would have a child, and that from this child would come a great nation. For over twenty years Abraham and his wife waited for the baby the Lord had promised, but no child was born to Sarah. Yet Abraham did not lose faith in the promise the Lord had given him. (Done reading) Okay, as soon as the narrator is done you need to be ready, and, ACTION!

Scene 2- (Sc. 1 leads right into Sc. 2, no pause)

Sarah- You haven’t said much tonight.

Abe- I was just thinking about how gracious God has been to us. When the famine came a few years back, God got us safely to Egypt so we could get food. Then the Lord gave us more riches than we could have asked for, and brought us back here. The Lord is good.

Sarah- Yes, but with all of these riches you’d think your God could have given us at least one child. Instead I grow old with no one to take care of me.

Abe- Sarah, why did you say the Lord was my God? Isn’t he yours as well?

Sarah- (pause) Yes, please forgive me. I’m just frustrated I guess. It’s been twenty-four years since He promised us a child. We aren’t getting any younger, Abraham. How are we supposed to raise a great nation if we don’t have any children? It gets hard to believe a God that doesn’t keep his promises.

Abe- But He does keep His promises. The Lord has promised me that a nation will be born of you, and we are to believe Him.

Sarah- I suppose. He has always provided in the past.

Dir- Cow, that’s your cue.

Cow- Man, I don’t want to wear this thing, it’s humiliating!

Dir- Of course it is, it’s supposed to be funny. Come on.

Abe- He looks udderly hilarious!

Cow- Steve, tell me again why I have to be a cow.

Dir- The cow is supposed to appeal to the kids, you know, funny stuff.

Cow- Ho ho and ha ha, this is a riot.

Dir- Oh, just say your line.

Cow- (glares, then very unemotionally) Mooo.

Dir- Cut.

Cow- What?

Dir- Can we have a little more emotion than that?

Cow- (a little louder) Moooo.

Dir- No, more theatrical.

Cow- (a la Hamlet) To moo, or not to moo. (Pause) That is the question.

Dir- Alright, smarty. I need you to get into the part.

Cow- I’m dressed like a cow, how much more into the part can I get?

Dir- Think. You’re a cow.

Cow- You don’t have to resort to name calling.

Dir- Okay, forget I said anything. Just be yourself. Ham it up.

Cow- Now you want me to play a pig?

Dir- Let’s take it from your line. And action!

Tracy- Cut!

Dir- What did you do that for?

Tracy- The cow’s not wearing his head.

Dir- No, he’s not going to wear the head, it’s too hard for the audience to understand him with it on. Action!

Cow- (very loudly and clearly) MOOOOO!

Abe- Ah, here’s my favorite cow. How are you today?

Cow- Moo.

Sarah- Well, I think I’m going to turn in for the night. Be sure to let the cow out.

Dir- Okay, that’s the first scene. Good job. Now the Narrator has a little ditty. You have to make sure you are ready when he’s done talking cuz there’s not much time between scenes. Okay, the Narrator says ‘So Abraham continued to wait patiently for God’s promise to be fulfilled, while Sarah started to lose faith. But one day’ yada yada yada and we’re ready for the second scene. Everyone ready? Action!

Sarah- So what are your plans for the day?

Abe- Well, I thought I’d try to find some people to help us with the harvest next week. Could you please pass the milk?

Sarah- Sorry, we’re out.

Abe- That’s ok, I’ll call the cow. Cow!

Abe- You know hon, we’ve got the only cow in the world that gives pasteurized milk.

Dir- Hey, stick to the script!

Abe- Sorry.

Abe- Hello, won’t you come in. I’ll be right back. (Runs to Sarah) An angel of the Lord is here! Quick, have our servant prepare the fatted calf!

Cow- Forget it, sister, you’re not cooking me! I mean, moo!

Abe- So what brings you here?

Angel- I come with good news for you and your wife.

Abe- And what sort of news could this be?

Angel- This time next year, your wife will have delivered a baby boy.

Sarah- (to herself) Yeah right, an old woman like me having kids, spare me.

Angel- Why did you laugh just now? Did you not believe me?

Sarah- I didn’t laugh. (Gives Angel a rude look)

Angel- (stepping back) What was that for?

Dir- Cut! That wasn’t in the script.

Angel- She just totally gave me a rude look.

Sarah- Duh, I was acting.

Angel- Oh please you’re not that good of an actress.

Sarah- Better than you.

Angel- Whatever.

Dir- Ladies! Please! Let’s try it again, from Angel’s line.

Angel- Why did you laugh just now? Did you not believe me?

Sarah- I didn’t laugh. (Gives Angel another rude look)

Angel- Don’t snarl at me!

Sarah- I didn’t!

Dir- Girls! What’s the problem?

Angel- She has been rude to me ever since we started our practices.

Sarah- Oh, whatever, you’re just mad because you didn’t get the GOOD part.

Dir- Okay okay okay, stop! I’ll tell you what, let’s just take five and you two can settle down. Then we’ll all come back and our bad attitudes will be gone, understood?

Scene 2- same setting

Dir- Alright everyone, I trust all heads have cooled a bit. Okay let’s take it later in the same scene when the Angel tells Abraham about the coming destruction of Sodom. Places.

Tracy- (to Director) Is somebody sick?

Dir- (exasperated) What are you talking about?

Tracy- You said you wanted people’s heads to cool down. Does somebody have a fever?

Dir- Tracy, it’s an expression. When I say I want their heads to cool down it means I want them to get rid of their bad attitudes.

Tracy- Oh silly me. (Ditzy laugh)

Dir- (loudly and impatiently) ACTION!

Angel- Abraham, the Lord not only sent me to you with good news, but with bad news as well. (Abraham pays careful attention) The Lord has pronounced judgement on the evil city of Sodom. God can stand their sin no more and will destroy the city with burning sulfur.

Sarah- (pulling Abraham off to the side) Your nephew Lot lives in Sodom. Will he also be destroyed?

Abe- Surely God would not destroy an entire city for the sins of a few!

Angel- The entire city of Sodom is wicked and has turned from the Lord.

Abe- Then what of my nephew Lot? My Lord, if fifty righteous people can be found in Sodom, will you spare the city for the sake of the righteous?

(Tech 1 begins setting up a light in the background)

Angel- For the sake of fifty, the city will be spared.

Abe- What about forty, or or thirty? Will God spare the city for the sake of thirty?

Angel- God will spare the city if there are thirty righteous people to be found.

Abe- (pleading on one knee) My Lord, what about ten? Will the Lord spare Sodom if ten can be found?

Angel- If ten righteous people can be found, all of Sodom will be spared. It is a promise.

Sarah- If Lot and his entire family have remained righteous, the Lord will spare the city.

Abe- Oh, Lot. I pray that you have remained faithful to the Lord after all of these years. I pray for your safety, for I would rather be struck by lightning than learn of your demise.

Abe- What..? I said I’d rather be struck by lightning, not lighting!

Tech 1- Hey man, sorry it was an accident. Don’t have a cow!

Cow- (offstage) I resemble that remark!

Abe- Just be more careful, ok? We’ve got a play going on here.

Tech 1- Alright, man you don’t have to get an attitude.

Dir- Hey, hey. Man, what has made you guys so jumpy today? I don’t know what has gotten into everybody, but we’ll get done a lot quicker if you all just settle down, and that goes for the tech crew too. Okay, let’s get ready for the next scene.

Scene 3- Abraham learns of Sodom’s destruction- the next day

Sarah- I’ll get it.

Abe- Can I help you?

Mess- (respectfully) Excuse me sir, madam, but may I trouble you for a simple meal? I have been running all day and am famished.

Abe- Running? Running from what?

Mess- Oh, sir, haven’t you heard? Awful news! Terrible news! Sodom has been completely destroyed!

Mess- I have been running from town to town, telling this news to others, dreading every minute of it, sir. I am telling people to wail over Sodom’s downfall, for fear that we will suffer the same fate if we continue to live in our sin.

Sarah- Maybe he was spared. Maybe he escaped.

Abe- (to Messenger) Please, do you know, have you heard, if anyone escaped from the city? My nephew, he lived in Sodom. Is it possible that he...? (Abe stops in midsentence)

Mess- Sir, I was a messenger for the City Council in Sodom, and knew many of the men who served on it. I was on the way back to Sodom from Zoar when I saw the fire that destroyed Sodom fall from the sky. On the road from Sodom to Zoar, I passed a certain city elder. He was obviously in a hurry, and with him were his wife and two daughters.

Sarah- (hopeful) Lot!

Mess- Yes, that was his name. Is he the nephew you spoke of?

Sarah- Yes, he is!

Mess- Then God has given grace to your family.

Abe- (shouting) My soul rejoices! The Lord has spared Lot, and has shown favor to our family. May God be praised! Sarah, prepare for this messenger the finest meal that has ever been made, for this is a day of celebration for the this house, because Lot is alive!

Cow- (unenthusiastically) Moo.

Dir- Cow, could you act a little more excited? This is a happy scene.

Cow- I don’t even know why I’m in this scene. I mean, up until now it’s a good scene, there’s sadness, suspense, then celebration. But then what, after all this good dramatic stuff, they bring in a cow! How ridiculous is that?

Dir- Hey, I didn’t write it. I agree, it’s a little cheesy, but...

Cow- I mean what kind of role do I have anyway? It’s nothing, there’s no drama in being a cow! A four year old could play this part! This isn’t a challenge at all.

Abe- (loudly) Then I guess you’ll just have to milk the part for all it’s worth! (Laughs, other cast members laugh as well)

Cow- Ha ha, aren’t you the funny one.

Dir- Okay, settle down. Can’t we have just one scene go smoothly? (Pause) After this scene the narrator says, "So Abraham and Sarah rejoiced because the Lord showed mercy to Lot’s family. Later, their joy increased, as Sarah found that she was with child, just as the Lord said she would be. Five months into the pregnancy, Abraham and Sarah waited in growing expectation for the birth of the son they would call Isaac." So now, you’re all ready for the next scene, and ACTION!

Scene 4- Abraham and Sarah wait for the baby

Sarah- (a little excited) Oh, I just felt him kick!

Abe- What?! Is he really?

Sarah- Yeah, look! (Sarah takes Abe’s hand and puts it on her stomach)

Abe- This is the child God promised us. This little child will one day become a nation, and us being so old! Truly nothing is impossible for God.

Sarah- I don’t understand it, Abraham. Why did God choose us? What did we do to gain his favor?

Abe- I don’t know. I really don’t know. I guess the only thing I can think of is that I chose to believe him.

Sarah- And it was because of your faith that I am now able to have a child. (Pause) And maybe it was because of your faith that Lot was spared.

Abe- Why would a perfect God reward an imperfect man such as I? I mean, is our faith really worth so much to God?

Sarah- (Struggling for the line) Maybe our faith erases our sin.

Tracy- Cut.

Sarah- What is it now?!

Tracy- The line is, "Maybe God chooses to forgive our sin because we have faith."

Sarah- That’s basically what I said.

Tracy- Yeah, but this is one of the most important lines in the play.

Dir- Tracy’s got a good point.

Sarah- (interupting the Director) Give me a break, will you?

Angel- (walking onstage, to Sarah) Oh, why don’t you give it a rest?

Sarah- Don’t start with me, I’m not in the mood.

Dir- Hey!

Abe- Oh, here we go.

Cow- (loudly while he covers his ears) I’m not here, I’m not here, la la la...(etc)

Abe- C’mon, don’t you start too!

Cow- La la la la la la la la la...

Abe- (removing Cow’s hands from his (Cow’s) ears) I said be quiet!

Dir- ALRIGHT, EVERYONE BE QUIET! NOW! LOOK AT YOURSELVES! We’re putting on a church play, at church, we’re all Christians, and we’re acting like little children! Okay, ten minute break. Calm down, and when we come back we’re gonna talk about this as a group, the whole cast, understood? Alright, be back here in ten minutes. (Cast exits)

Scene 1- Director’s speech

Dir- So before I give my little speech is there anything any of you want to say?

Abe- This whole thing has been such a mess. You were right, we’re acting like children. It’s not just this practice either, the others weren’t this bad, but today, this is pathetic. (Points at Sarah and Angel) You two, you both need an attitude adjustment.

Sarah- She’s jealous because I got the big part.

Angel- No I’m not...

Dir- (interupting Angel) Let’s not point fingers here, okay? I think we could all afford to step back and look at our attitudes. Now are there any concerns about the play itself?

Cow- It’s like I’ve been saying, it’s just so, I don’t know, corny. Most of it’s pretty good, but some of it is just cheesy, like my part. And then we’ve been fighting, I’m just starting to wonder if it is worth it.

Dir- If what is worth it?

Cow- The play. I mean I know we’ve worked so hard, but i wonder if maybe we just shouldn’t do this.

Dir- I’ll be honest, part of me feels the same way as you, but at the same time we’ve got to put on this play. The pastor asked us to do this, and we all agreed to play our part. I know this play is kind of cheesy in some places, but that doesn’t excuse us from doing the best job we can. Obviously, some of you aren’t too happy with the part you’ve been given. But remember that a play is like a jigsaw puzzle. Imagine a jigsaw puzzle of a beautiful landscape. Not all jigsaw pieces are the same size necessarily, or look the same. Some pieces are interesting and are very colorful. Other pieces are just one color, such as pieces that go in the sky. But without those sky pieces, the picture wouldn’t be complete. We all have to play the part we’ve been assigned. It’s like our Christian walk. God calls each of us to do something different. We aren’t to grumble because our part is less glamourous than someone else’s, because it doesn’t matter if you’re a pastor or a janitor. The only thing that matters is that you are doing what God asks you to do. If we all do God’s Will, people will be reached for Christ. And if we as a group put on this play, and do the best we can, and believe that God can work through this play, He will, and we will be blessed for our faith and for how we acted because of our faith. Now are there any more questions?

(Silence) Okay, then on that note, let’s try the final scene, and we can all go home. Places. The narrator says, "A few months later, when Abraham was one hundred years old, Sarah gave birth to a son." Okay, and then, action.

Scene 2- After Isaac is Born

Sarah- He has his father’s eyes.

Abe- And his mother’s smile.

Sarah- What will you name him...father?

Abe- He will be called Isaac, because he has brought me laughter. I can hardly believe that I, at one hundred years old, have a newborn son.

Sarah- The son that will become a great nation.

Abe- Now I have seen how incredible our God is. He keeps His promises, even the ones that seem impossible.

Sarah- (laughing) If He can give a child to even us, is anything impossible?

Abe- Not for those that choose to believe His Word.